Christopher Reeve, left, and Margot Kidder in a scene from 1981’s “Superman II” with Niagara Falls as the backdrop. When gearing up to ask for a raise, think of yourself as Clark Kent transforming into Superman, Thie Convery suggests.
Christopher Reeve, left, and Margot Kidder in a scene from 1981’s “Superman II” with Niagara Falls as the backdrop. When gearing up to ask for a raise, think of yourself as Clark Kent transforming into Superman, Thie Convery suggests.
Q: I’d like to ask my boss for a raise. I’ve added to the profit of his business over the last four years, and I especially helped him during the COVID-19 pandemic. He even verbally thanked me and recognized my support at the last team meeting, but I’ve had no bump in pay. I’m really feeling the rising cost of living and I’d also like to save more money for my future, but I’m a bit shy about tooting my own horn and sometimes lack confidence in my capabilities. How do I bring myself to ask for the raise?
A: I recently gave a presentation to a bunch of young teens and the message I had for them is exactly what I would prescribe for you. The lesson doesn’t just apply to young people; it works for every one of us — young, old and everything in between.
Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemy with the negative internal dialogue going on in our head. We beat ourselves up, such that we won’t even attempt the hard things in life, like asking for a raise. To succeed at anything, especially things that are challenging, it’s important to encourage a positive attitude toward yourself, but it’s not always easy to do.
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Your biggest supporters — friends, family, colleagues or a life partner — are not always around to cheer you on. And sometimes, whether we like it or not, they might not actually have it in them to offer that encouragement, right when you happen to need it. Instead, you need to learn how to be your own cheerleader.
You easily described to me the value you have brought to your employer’s business, as well as his public acknowledgment of the positive role you have played. Before you gently remind him and then ask for the raise, you must first remind yourself of your capabilities, so that you can encourage yourself to be up for the challenge. You must be your own best advocate — and the good news is that you can train yourself into this task.
Here’s a success tip I recently learned from a wonderful book by Todd Herman, “The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life.” This author reveals the secret to peak performance. Athletes use this; entertainers use it; top performers in business use it — and you can, too. Herman reminds us that Superman was not the same as meek newspaper reporter Clark Kent. Clark had to slip into the phone booth to put on his Superman cape and boots and take off his nerdy eyeglasses before he had the courage to be Superman. It was the Superman persona that gave him his strength and allowed him to act courageously.
You can do the same thing for yourself. What persona could you take on to allow yourself to ask your boss confidently for that raise? How would that confident persona act and what would they say? How would they dress or present themselves to the world? And how would they encourage themselves to do the hard things, like ask for a raise?
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Your self-talk can either sabotage your goals or it can inspire you to success. The more you imagine yourself as accomplished, reliable, contributing, the more power you will have to transform yourself into the strong, confident person you wish to be.
Like Superman, you can be your own superhero character in your life story. Certainly, you can use this strategy to approach your employer about a raise. For that matter, you can use it for any challenging aspect of your life in which you need a loving nudge, whether your goal is financial or otherwise.
So now, don your metaphorical superhero cape and go ask for that raise!
, R.F.P., CFP, CIM, FMA, FCSI, is a Wealth Advisor at Convery Wealth with IPC Securities Corporation. She is a freelance contributing columnist, and her column appears bi-weekly in The Hamilton Spectator. Thie invites your questions at TheSpecMoney@gmail.com or by visiting ConveryWealth.com.
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